Say the Hard Thing

What it is

Asking for a raise. Telling a partner something isn't working. Setting a limit with family. Getting a doctor to really hear you. Hard conversations go better when you've thought them through first. Say the Hard Thing walks you through it one page at a time, then gives you 27 pocket-sized sentence starters for the moment your mind goes blank.

What's included

• Start here page and a "who you're talking to" page with tips for work, a partner, family, friends, a doctor, and saying it in writing
• One-Page Plan for when you're short on time
• Ready Check: why now, how you'll talk, is it a good time, is it safe
• What I Want: the heart of it in one sentence, facts vs. feelings, best case vs. what you could live with, what is and isn't yours to control
• My First Words: build a 30-second opening in three parts
• If They Get Upset: calm lines ready for anger, tears, "that never happened," changing the subject, a no, or blame
• My Calm-Down Plan: before, during, and after, plus your pause line and exit line
• Say It in Writing: a five-part template for a letter, email, or text
• After the Talk notes
• 27 sentence-starter cards (2.5 x 3.5 in) in nine color-coded kinds: opening, saying how I feel, asking for what I need, listening, when it gets heated, setting a limit, holding steady, wrapping up, coming back to it. Each card has a tip or an example
• Card backs, plus a ready-to-print double-sided card file
• A gentle "when a talk isn't safe" page with hotline numbers

Great for